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The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
I don\'t pray because I don\'t want to bore God.
Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
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I\'m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
I must confess, I was born at a very early age.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
Some editors are failed writers, but so are most writers.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don\'t seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
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Should array indices start at 0 or 1? My compromise of 0.5 was rejected without, I thought, proper consideration.
I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
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It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
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Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
Only one man ever understood me, and he didn\'t understand me.
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Military glory -- that attractive rainbow, that rises in showers of blood -- that serpent\'s eye, that charms to destroy...
If you are going through hell, keep going.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
Many journalists have fallen for the conspiracy theory of government. I do assure you that they would produce more accurate work if they adhered to the cock-up theory.
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Instead, I was a painter, and became Picasso.
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
Whether you think that you can, or that you can\'t, you are usually right.
Yes, I\'m fat, but you\'re ugly and I can go on a diet.
It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn\'t cure.
Everywhere I go I\'m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don\'t stifle enough of them.
Man has no right to kill his brother. It is no excuse that he does so in uniform: he only adds the infamy of servitude to the crime of murder.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
We didn\'t lose the game; we just ran out of time.
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Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.
Emulate your heros, but don\'t carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn\'t cure.
I\'ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I\'m not sure about the former.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
I\'ve had a wonderful time, but this wasn\'t it.
I\'ve just learned about his illness. Let\'s hope it\'s nothing trivial.
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About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
Chaos Theory is a new theory invented by scientists panicked by the thought that the public were beginning to understand the old ones.
But at my back I always hear Time\'s winged chariot hurrying near.
The only difference between me and a madman is that I\'m not mad.
A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
You\'ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
Diplomacy is the art of saying \'Nice doggie!\'... \'til you can find a rock.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one\'s work is terribly important.
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement. The opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Smith & Wesson ? the original point and click interface.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
What a cruel thing is war: to separate and destroy families and friends, and mar the purest joys and happiness God has granted us in this world; to fill our hearts with hatred instead of love for our neighbors, and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world.
It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
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Did you ever walk in a room and forget why you walked in? I think that\'s how dogs spend their lives.
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
If people can judge me on the company I keep, they would judge me with keeping really good company with Laura.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
Nothing is wrong with California that a rise in the ocean level wouldn\'t cure.
You\'re about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.
Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.
You\'ll notice that Nancy Reagan never drinks water when Ronnie speaks.
Sometimes a scream is better than a thesis.
It was God who made me so beautiful. If I weren\'t, then I\'d be a teacher.
Early to rise and early to bed. Makes a male healthy, wealthy and dead.
Smith & Wesson ? the original point and click interface.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, \'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don\'t believe?
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
The company doesn\'t tell me what to say, and I don\'t tell themwhere to stick it.
If you put tomfoolery into a computer, nothing comes out of it but tomfoolery. But this tomfoolery, having passed through a very expensive machine, is somehow enobled and no-one dares criticize it.
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Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
When you\'ve seen one non-sequitur, the price of tea in China.
They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I\'m going to miss mine by just a few days.
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Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.
There are only two tragedies in life: one is not getting what one wants, and the other is getting it.
Despite the high cost of living, it remains popular.
Distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it\'s the exact opposite.
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Sometimes when reading Goethe I have the paralyzing suspicion that he is trying to be funny.
It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
If there?s one thing I know it?s God does love a good joke.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
Minsky\'s Second Law: Don\'t just do something. Stand there.
Devlin\'s First Law - Buyer beware: in the hands of a charlatan, mathematics can be used to make a vacuous argument look impressive. Devlin\'s Second Law - So can PowerPoint.
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
We don\'t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
The study of non-linear physics is like the study of non-elephant biology.
Everything has been figured out, except how to live.
Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
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The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
Conservatives are not necessarily stupid, but most stupid people are conservatives
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
Love: The warm feeling you get towards someone who meets your neurotic needs.
Physics is not a religion. If it were, we\'d have a much easier time raising money.
If the brain were so simple we could understand it, we would be so simple we couldn\'t.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
A camel is a horse designed by a committee
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he\'d lie just to keep his hand in.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one\'s work is terribly important.
When I am dead, I hope it may be said: \'His sins were scarlet but his books were read.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
Before C++ we had to code all of our bugs by hand; now we inherit them.
All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
The secret of success is to know something nobody else knows.
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A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it\'s because they\'re such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
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Behind every great fortune there is a crime.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
They couldn\'t hit an elephant at this dist--
Copy from one, it\'s plagiarism; copy from two, it\'s research.
Minsky\'s Second Law: Don\'t just do something. Stand there.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.
Computers can figure out all kinds of problems, except the things in the world that just don\'t add up.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, \'Where have I gone wrong?\' Then a voice says to me, \'This is going to take more than one night.\'
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
Three o\'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
We don\'t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
Java: the elegant simplicity of C++ and the blazing speed of Smalltalk.
Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they\'re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
Every nation has its war party. It is not the party of democracy. It is the party of autocracy. It seeks to dominate absolutely.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
Gentleman: Knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn\'t.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
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Human history becomes more and more a race between education and catastrophe.
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We\'re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.
All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed. Second, it is violently opposed. Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
In ancient times they had no statistics so they had to fall back on lies.
I Can\'t Think Of Anything Reasonable To Counter Your Argument Or Don\'t Have The Least Inkling Of The Subject So I Will Resort To Name Calling And Hope I Can Get Away With It.
I don\'t pray because I don\'t want to bore God.
Mr. Wagner has beautiful moments but bad quarters of an hour.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn\'t over until everyone gets their cookies.
When I told the people of Northern Ireland that I was an atheist, a woman in the audience stood up and said, \'Yes, but is it the God of the Catholics or the God of the Protestants in whom you don\'t believe?
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
Men have become the tools of their tools.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population.
You got to be careful if you don\'t know where you\'re going, because you might not get there.
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must wait till that other is ready.
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
But at my back I always hear Time\'s winged chariot hurrying near.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
Not only is there no God, but you try getting a plumber at weekends.
Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they\'re eating sandwiches.
Finagle\'s Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
The difference between what the most and the least learned people know is inexpressibly trivial in relation to that which is unknown.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one\'s work is terribly important.
Every normal man must be tempted at times to spit upon his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.
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There is only one nature - the division into science and engineering is a human imposition, not a natural one. Indeed, the division is a human failure; it reflects our limited capacity to comprehend the whole.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he\'d lie just to keep his hand in.
Don\'t sweat the petty things, just pet the sweaty things.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he\'ll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.
It\'s not the size of the dog in the fight, it\'s the size of the fight in the dog.
Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/26/(Thu) 10:28
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